It’s Sunday morning and you are surfing MLS while shopping for knock-off designer goods on Alixpress. While contemplating that new pair of size 11’s, you notice the house beside you is up for sale and is going for a handsome price. In fact, the value may have gone up by 100k in the last couple of years and you could really use that dough to move to Milton. But hold on just one moment, as I am here to provide you with the top five reasons NOT to move to Milton from Mississauga.
5 – No Celebration Square
Celebration Square is a place like no other. From young Egyptian kids pretending they are Lionel Messi to young mommas doing yoga, the square is a microcosm of all that is good about Mississauga. Let’s face it, Milton has nothing like it. In fact, I heard that local MILTONIANS get together to watch old black and white movies in a farmer’s field on Thursday nights (bring your uncle Cleatus and get a free bag of popcorn).
4 – There is no 5/10 in Milton
Let’s face it, Milton is a suburbia. Even the “downtown” core of Milton is faceless and lacks the grit and character that the intersection at 5 and 10 has. I mean, where else on earth can you buy a shrimp burrito, a massive shawarma, Biriyani and pho all on one corner!
3 – Marilyn Monroe vs. a Water Tower
The only towers in Milton are eight stories high and they’re either a water tower or condos that are occupied with pensioners that will call the cops at the first sign of any music featuring Drake. The Absolute towers are a treasure to Mississauga not only for their architectural design, but also because of the fact that they are inhabited by young people that couldn’t care less if you are “Rollin’ through the 905 with your woes.”
2 – No Downtown Core
Now how many times can you end up at EddieO’s? While Mississauga does not have a downtown core similar to Toronto’s, it has a ton of great areas with independent shops and character. Just go for a walk around Clarkson, Port Credit, Streetsville, Cooksville and Malton to check out the individuality that each area has. Now, compare that to the string of big box stores disguising themselves as “designer outlets” that Milton has and you will be bored to death.
1 – No One Works in Milton
Unless you are rounding up criminals in the prison or working at the outlet mall or the insulation company, chances are you are on the highway commuting to Mississauga or on the Go-Train commuting to Toronto for work. Do you know how frustrating traffic can be in the GTA? I saw a guy on the 401 lose a mattress that was strapped to his car last week and try to retrieve it during rush hour! One thing you can never buy is time, so even if you are sitting on $100k, is it worth that extra 50 hours a month commuting?
You will be NEVER EVER be allowed back and will be branded forever as a traitor. I’m joking. We will always welcome you back home where you belong — in Mississauga.
Source: Insauga.com Randy Chiasson on August 4, 2015