As many have said, renovations can be a lot like giving birth: They’re painful, they make you want to scream, and cause you to ask yourself why you’re bearing the brunt of all the work. And yet, you love the result and often end up repeating the whole thing.
Houzz.com’s Remodeling & Relationships Survey of Canadian users, conducted online this past December and January, found a number of issues that caused pain, including the fact that:
- 18% made a significant design decision without telling their partner
- 8% snuck away to catch a break
- 9% neglected to mention the price of something.
Those are the little white lies of the fixer-upper set, but in a number of cases, things got even worse:
- 5% admitted to secretly throwing out something of their partner’s. That little bit of nastiness might happen when you refuse to compromise on your own tastes, as was the case with 17% of respondents.
- While 63% said they did compromise, 6% threw up their hands and let their partner’s will prevail. That’s an unfortunate way to spend the following long years, staring at a design feature you abhor.
That failure to stand up for themselves might have been a result of poor communication (31%) throughout the project. This may have resulted in the stats that show
- 33% could not agree on products or finishes specifically
- or 30% on style and design generally
- 32% of respondents felt they took on more work than their partner — already a source of tension in real life, let alone in reno life.
So, your partner buys something and doesn’t tell you (or lies about its price); says they really, really have to go to the office on Sunday; “accidentally” breaks that stained-glass window you wanted installed; and hates your choice of backsplash. It’s no wonder the survey showed
- 40% found the time remodelling with their partner frustrating
- 25% found it difficult,
- 9% found it painful.
All those design decisions, looming deadlines and financial stress do take their toll. During the process, the worst experiences caused
- 9% of respondents to think they needed couples counselling
- 6% to ask “How did I end up with this person?” and
- 3% to consider a breakup or divorce.
However, 63% thought they made a great couple on the job, and once the labour pains were over, 97% said it was all worth it. The results included:
- 70% reported feeling more comfortable in their home thanks to the project
- 66% felt happier
- 60% felt more organized
- 50% relax at home more often
- 45% entertain more frequently
- 36% do more cooking and dining at home
- 28% spend more time together at home.
What did they learn from it? It goes back to communication and compromise.
- 46% said compromise is the key to both the relationship and the remodel
- 34% said it was agreeing on what you both want before you start the project
- 30% said it was making a realistic budget (and of course sticking to it; note that secret purchase in the first point, above).
Source: National Post – Shari Kulha | February 5, 2016